Got fibbers in your life? Give ‘em the FBI Truth Test
Posted by debi on May 16th, 2007 filed in Gedunk
It happened again night before last. I caught Daryl sneaking a drink from the milk container at 2 am.
Like a deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car there he stood, milk jug pressed to his lips. You could almost see his brain churning, trying its darnedest to work up a fib considerably less lame than, “I couldn’t find a clean glass, honey, honest.”
“Maybe I should just keep a stack of disposable cups in the fridge for you and the other two middle-of-the-night milk jug guzzlers who live here,” I joked. “And why not some plates and spoons for the handfuls of fruit salad that has been mysteriously disappearing.”
Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking: Does it really matter if Daryl drinks from the family milk container when the four of us already share a community bathroom glass? Or that Zachary, my youngest, never fails to engage in a little fruit salad pilfering from the fridge with fingers that have been God Knows Where all day only to fib about it later?
Probably not. Still, we as Chief, Cook & Bottle Washers to families who could give a flip about the major yuck factor attached to such practices, try our best to wrangle with the politics of germs every day.
The politics of fibbing, on the other hand – especially the kind of frivolous fibbing originating from the uniform-clad spouse in the house that trickles all the way down to the littlest of the little – is a subject we have no choice but to ferociously tackle.
These darlings of ours try to be awfully slick in their artful dodging. Oh, how they affectionately ooze all sorts of persuasive half-truths and manipulate the heck out of the “whole-truths-and-nothing-buts” that they attempt to hand us, just to basically pacify our ridiculous need to be able to believe and have faith in them 100 percent of the time.
Isn’t it amazing how every last one of them suddenly turns into Henry Kissinger whenever they think they just might be in trouble? Or how they will diplomatically try to negotiate (always after the fact, of course) a new deal over special peace talks to cover every move they’ve made hoping to magically get themselves sprung from the doghouse?
Once in a while we catch them red-handed and when we do, we catch them good, but it certainly isn’t often enough, is it?
Guess what? Now we can catch them all the time with “The FBI Truth Test - How to Spot a Liar in 60 Seconds.”
The information I stumbled on yesterday reads:
“You’d LOVE it if you had a handy dandy Lie Detector. So you’d know whenever men are fibbing, your husband is lying, the kids are fibbing or your co-worker is giving you the gears. Wouldn’t it be nice to identify the signs of lying?”
The FBI already uses a lie detector like this. You can’t lie to an FBI agent.
How do we know? We did a marketing project with a former FBI agent. He taught us exactly how to CATCH a liar. 100% of the time. 100% accurate. And how to double check to make sure.
Ya’ know the BEST part?
You know but the liar doesn’t know you know.
I was instantly hooked.
I thought, this is going to cost at least a hundred bucks to get ‘the rest of the story’ on the FBI Truth Test – How to Spot a Liar in 60 Seconds.
The advertising promised that I could become a human lie detector face-to-face, over the phone, even over the internet, guaranteed.
Okay, two hundred bucks.
Not even close.
I paid a paltry $2.59 for the most insightful information I’ve ever put my hands on about how to catch a liar. In person, on the phone, over the computer. I tried it out myself and yup, this formula works!
I wasn’t stingy; I shared this amazing information with Daryl. Since, we’ve both tried it out on the kids, our friends, co-workers. We’ve caught each and every one of them in nothing but lies, lies, lies as a result of the FBI Truth Test I bought from that website.
Does it really work on everybody? I’m inclined to think yes, it does, but hey, don’t take my word for it. Remember: I just might be fibbin’.
2 Responses to “Got fibbers in your life? Give ‘em the FBI Truth Test”
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May 16th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I learned this technique myself a while ago, a friend had the report with the instructions in it. You’re right it does work. The question is do we always want to know when someone is lying to us? I can think of a few times when I wouldn’t!!! lol
May 16th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
PS It is especially good thing to use with children since they haven’t learned all the sneaky tricks to use to cover up their lying.