Military Community, Spouse and Family Resources - Military Times

Dr. Laura: ‘I cried’ over mixup

Radio talk show host “Dr. Laura” Schlessinger said she received about a dozen “ferociously angry e-mails” from the military community after a story about her appeared in the May 12 Salt Lake Tribune.

“It broke my heart. I cried,” she said, in a phone interview May 14. The e-mails were in response to comments attributed to her about military spouses and parents’ “whining” — comments that she says were taken out of context. She said she was taken by surprise by the story, which was picked up by The Associated Press.

“I felt [that] if one family was in any way hurt, I had to do whatever I could to help repair that,” she said. “My job is to set the record straight. My reputation with respect to the military is very important to me. I’m part of the family.” Schlessinger’s son is an Army paratrooper deployed to the Middle East.

The article described Schlessinger as being “tired of all the complaints she hears from military wives who say they’re lonely and overwhelmed.”

In a phone interview May 14, Schlessinger said, “I just want to be sure no one thinks they can’t whine. You just can’t whine to the warrior,” she said. “No matter what we’re going through here, I can put my feet up and have a cup of tea. The guys on the front line can’t do that.”

In her blog explaining her point May 14, she wrote, “Burdening one’s warrior spouse with your fears, upsets, loneliness, etc., is a huge mistake as it demoralizes the warrior and thereby undermines their concentration while they are in life-death situations.”

Schlessinger read her blog at the beginning of her talk show that day, claiming that her comments about whining were taken out of context. “I am a military mom. I whine to my husband every day about how scared I am for my son and how helpless I feel to protect his body and soul. However, I never whine to my son when he is able to call between missions,” she states in her blog at http://www.drlaura.com.

“That, and only that, is my point. Of course military spouses endure fear and domestic burdens. Of course they often need emotional support and practical assistance. As I said to the reporter, and many times on my program, family services, clergy, family, friends, and the camaraderie of other military spouses are available outlets.”

By the end of the show, which airs from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern time, she said she had received about 50 supportive e-mails, including a number from military families. “I have been inundated by e-mails from people saying they never believed it anyway,” she said.

Schlessinger broadcast her daily radio program during a visit to Salt Lake City on May 11, and was interviewed by a Salt Lake Tribune reporter just before the show.

“You’re not dodging bullets, so I don’t want to hear any whining — that’s my message to them,” Schlessinger was quoted as saying.

“I am so deeply sad and disappointed that this out-of-context comment appears to have caused hurt and pain to military spouses — people that I’ve spent so much time helping,” Schlessinger wrote in her blog. “I am frustrated that people who haven’t heard my program would be misled as to my attitude and intent,” she said. She gets calls from military spouses and girlfriends every day asking for advice, she said.

“I was so surprised that anyone would believe that you would say anything negative about military wives or families,” wrote one Marine mother in an e-mail May 14. “I for one want to thank [you] for giving me the strength to be a “Warrior Mother.” ... I preach what you teach us to many military wives and moms, so I hope you know that you have many people who do trust you.”

Schlessinger said she has been a longtime supporter of service members and their families, helping raise more than $500,000 for a fund in California that helps families of fallen and wounded warriors. She, has a doctorate in physiology and post-doctoral certification in marriage, family and child counseling, and was a licensed marriage, family and child counselor in private practice in California for 12 years.