Military Community, Spouse and Family Resources - Military Times

A spouse’s tale of strength

Michelle Keener’s husband was deployed twice, and Keener had her hands full both times.

“I may not have been to Iraq,” she writes, “but I’ve been to war.”

The wife of a Marine officer and mother of a 7-month-old girl, Keener was the head of her household at the Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center at Twentynine Palms, Calif. At the same time, she was part of the Key Volunteer Network for her husband’s infantry battalion.

Her book, “Shared Courage: A Marine Wife’s Story of Strength and Service,” is worthwhile reading for any Key volunteer, preferably before signing on to coordinate the dissemination of official Marine Corps news to families.

Her husband, Paul, deployed to Iraq as a lieutenant with 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment. During his time away, Keener learns firsthand that the military version of Murphy’s Law — Maj. Murphy’s Law? — is “anything that can go wrong will go wrong as soon as your husband deploys.” The lesson sets the tone of this account of life with the other spouses who also wait and serve.

She is honest enough to mention “Marine-going-to-war-farewell-sex,” and overall, she chooses humor over despair. Given her circumstance, that’s not a bad choice.

She can be memorably, emotionally raw: One night she was “gripped with a certainty that [Paul] was going to die. ... I stood in the shower until the water turned cold.”

Such action speaks louder than admonition.

The woman who watched “Fox News nonstop for days at a time” when her husband was deployed said she’s “the last person to tell anyone not to express an opinion, even if I don’t agree with it.” Then she berates those who disagree: “Don’t use my husband as your excuse to ... bash the president.”

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J. Ford Huffman writes for USA Today.

Shared Courage: A Marine Wife’s Story of Strength and Service. By Michelle Keener. Zenith Press. 304 pages. $24.95.