Military Community, Spouse and Family Resources - Military Times

Married to the Military: More must be done for veterans, family members

We hear discussions about “bringing the troops home now,” and one thought keeps coming to mind: Many Americans seem to think that when the troops come home and the war is over, we can all go on with life as usual.

Unfortunately, military spouses know better.

Those who care for troops recovering from injuries or suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and those who lost a service member in combat, will continue to face major challenges, regardless of whether the war ends. Many will need help for a long time — in many cases, a lifetime.

Many great programs are being developed by sincere, caring individuals — often military spouses — but funding is always a big issue. The country as a whole needs to step in.

Navy spouse and author Kristin Henderson presents a great idea in a column published Feb. 9 in The New York Times, “Your Money at War.” (You can read it at http://www.kristinhenderson.com/essays.htm).

Henderson proposes a war tax so that all Americans, not only military members and their families, would be involved in the sacrifices required of a country at war. This would be a tax dedicated to financing the support services needed by military families and combat veterans.

“Perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a long-term costs-of-war tax,” Henderson wrote, “because the tax I’m proposing, like the needs it’s intended to meet, will not end when the war ends.”

As she describes it, military families would be exempt from the tax. The funds would be put toward efforts such as combat trauma counseling, respite child care, part-time jobs for spouses trying to make ends meet and marriage counseling.

If we all write our representatives, maybe we can make this idea a reality. (To easily send a letter directly to your state representatives, visit http://www.house.gov/writerep).

Here are two examples of important programs that have found initial funding and deserve to be funded in full so they may benefit all wounded warriors and their families:

•Wounded Warrior Wives Project, through Cinchouse.com and Operation Homefront. This is for spouses as well as care-giving mothers, sisters and girlfriends, a place to find the ongoing support structure and resources they need.

•The Bridge Retreat. Susan Davis is a longtime Army spouse who is finishing her master’s degree in energy medicine and transpersonal psychology. She has a concept for retreats intended to help warriors and families heal. She is partnering with a retired chief petty officer, Desiree DelMonte, who is finishing a doctorate in the same study area.

Under the umbrella of a Colorado nonprofit organization, the pair will offer their first retreat in spring 2008. This three-week retreat in Emerald Valley, Colo., will include 20 discharged service members who have been diagnosed with PTSD or a traumatic brain injury. (For information, send an e-mail to susan@colo-nes.com or des@colo-nes.com.)

The retreat will incorporate methods from work by Dr. Ann Nunley and Dr. C. Norman Shealy that provide an alternative to antidepressants in treating depression.

Also to be included in the retreat will be activities such as journaling, hiking, horseback riding, fishing, therapeutic massage, chaplain visits and just plain relaxing. The aim is to provide a safe environment away from stressors for participants to put their lives back together.

“For more than two years, we have attempted to implement alternative therapies for our military and their families suffering from anxiety, anger, sleeplessness, depression and PTSD,” Davis said. “We are thrilled to finally have this initial opportunity. We hope it’s the first of multiple retreats we can eventually implement into the military system. For our nation to be ‘mission ready,’ we need to redefine how to prepare to be ready — emotionally, physically and spiritually, before and after war.”

And those are preparations needed for military members and family members alike.

Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer are military spouses who have written articles and presented workshops based on their research and experience for more than 10 years. They are the authors of “Help! I’m a Military Spouse — I Get a Life Too!” now in its second edition. Send your questions and suggestions to marriedtomilitary@atpco.com.