Mission: Family: What does a family need? Take time to ask - Military Community, Spouse and Family Resources - Military Times

Mission: Family: What does a family need? Take time to ask

It was a simple mention of a fountain pen in Robbi Schlitz’s biography information that stopped me short.

It was 8:30 a.m. March 3, 2007, and Schlitz was waiting at the Sacramento, Calif., airport for a flight to Brooke Army Medical Center, Texas, where her son, Army Sgt. 1st Class Michael Schlitz, had just arrived after being critically wounded in Iraq as a result of a roadside bomb.

While she was on a call with Brooke officials who needed her immediate permission for Michael’s surgery, she lost her cell signal.

She made a mad dash to look for a pen to write down critical information before trying to call back and asked a clerk to loan her one. The clerk said no. Schlitz had to scramble to buy one.

Wounded troops, their families and the families of the fallen need a lot more than a borrowed fountain pen. But right at that moment, nothing was more important to Schlitz than finding an ordinary pen.

Her son lost his hands and was burned on over 85 percent of his body. His head was badly disfigured; he lost sight in his left eye and much of his nose, which has been restored through reconstructive surgery. He is now medically retired.

Schlitz’s experiences at the airport and during her son’s recovery have stayed with her, and left her with a desire to impart a message: Don’t assume you know what someone needs. Take the time to ask.

“If you want to do something for someone, ask them, ‘What can I do for you?’” said Schlitz, who participated in a panel discussion with her son at a recent forum sponsored by the Military Officers Association of America and the U.S. Naval Institute.

As important as asking the question is being prepared to listen — really listen — to the answer. “People assume they know what I need,” Schlitz said. “They assume they know what’s best for me. They assume I’m going to fit into that box.”

Since her son’s ordeal, many people beyond that airport clerk have shown compassion, she says. While it’s hard for her, and for many others, to ask for help, she advises doing so.

“Even if you don’t get the answer you need, keep asking, because down the road, you’ll find someone to meet your needs.”

Whoever you are, whatever your job, think about this mother the next time someone asks you for help — even if it’s something as simple as borrowing a pen.

MyCAA change

Defense officials have changed a deadline related to the My Career Advancement Accounts.

Spouses with an active MyCAA account may request financial assistance for classes that have a start date up to Jan. 31, instead of Jan. 15. All requests for financial aid still must be submitted by Oct. 21.

———

Questions? Comments? E-mail staff writer Karen Jowers at kjowers@militarytimes.com.