Military Movies - Military Times

‘The Guardian’: Seain’ ain’t believin’ this cliché-ridden plot

A cocky young studmuffin with a tragic past gets it in his head to join an elite military unit to show himself and the world that he is, indeed, somebody.

He endures brutal training under the harsh tutelage of a battle-hardened old pro, with his only release the soft touch of a cute local gal who has seen more of these slick hotshots come and go than she cares to think about.

Will the young stud survive his trials, best his inner demons, show his crusty mentor that he does, indeed, possess the right stuff and strut off into the sunset in his new starched uniform with the cute gal on his arm?

If you don’t know, then you’ve obviously never seen “An Officer and a Gentleman.”

You can, however, see a reasonable facsimile in “The Guardian,” which lifts huge chunks of that earlier film’s template and transplants it to the world of Coast Guard rescue swimmers.

It even has a nerdy trainee spazzing out in the swimming pool, for crying out loud.

Let’s get one thing straight: Coast Guard rescue swimmers are indeed a special breed. That’s made clear in a series of riveting open-water scenes in which they drop from helicopters into violent seas to save imperiled boaters -- and sometimes must make agonizing decisions about who will live or die.

When the film rides the waves in this fashion, it’s gripping, harrowing stuff. But like the recent “Flyboys,” “The Guardian” grounds itself whenever it leaves its primary element. (That’s not the only similarity -- both films clock in at a wholly unnecessary 140 minutes.)

The fish-out-of-water problem here is due in no small measure to the casting of Kevin Costner as Senior Chief Petty Officer Ben Randall and Ashton Kutcher as young stud Jake Fischer.

It would be tough to come up with two mainstream actors who are more akin to hardened driftwood than these guys -- and it hardly helps that they’re given melodramatic lines such as, “If we go home, they die!”

Ben is, of course, a “living legend” within the Coast Guard. But he’s getting up there in age, and when he loses his crew -- including his best pal -- in a tragedy at sea, the psychological trauma is enough to ground him in a new job as an instructor at rescue swimmer training school.

But that’s not enough baggage. Ben’s marriage to Helen (Sela Ward) is also on the rocks, mainly because, you know, his life, his lover, his lady, is the sea.

But another challenge soon presents itself in Jake, a former high school swimming champ who oozes blustery bravado.

The film splits its time between scenes of Ben and Jake butting heads and Jake putting the moves on that standard-issue local gal, a spunky teacher named Emily (Melissa Sagemiller).

It all makes for a tough slog, especially when Costner and/or Kutcher are called upon to emote. When Kutcher squeezes out tears while unburdening himself about his dark secret, for example, he had me crying on the inside.

The script gets a lift from a solid supporting cast, including Neal McDonough as a hard-core assistant instructor, Clancy Brown as Ben’s commander and Bonnie Bramlett (of the 1960s singing duo Delaney & Bonnie) as a sympathetic bartender.

And writer Ron L. Brinkerhoff does offer a few entertaining bits, notably two scenes in which the Coasties inadvisably visit a Navy saloon. (“This ain’t no puddle-pirate bar,” one thick-necked squid growls, serving up one of my favorite lines of the year.)

But it’s not enough to offset the slew of shore-based clichés, not to mention the sappy ending, which dives headlong into pure fantasy.

“The Guardian” truly comes alive only when a storm is raging, the waves are crashing and lives are hanging by a thread.

So congrats, Coasties: You now have what the other services have had for decades, in spades -- a mediocre, big-budget, A-list action film of your own.

2½ stars. Rated PG-13 for intense rescue scenes, a smattering of bad language and a little bit of sexual innuendo. Got a rant or rave about the movies? E-mail cvinch@atpco.com.