Married couple- deployment

[bebop1088]

Hello, my name is Tina. I am currently in the nj army national guard. I got married to my husband 2 and a half months ago, he is active duty- stationed out of hawaii with the 25 ID. he is at NTC currently scheduled to leave for iraq in october. Knowing this when we got married, i decided to live at home and allow us to save money while he is deployed. I reported to my unit in august for the first time (even though i had been home from AIT for 8 months) and i was told i too will be deploying in january to iraq. I have explored many options, however i hav decided i would rather be out of the military all together then try to raise a family around deployments. I have heard rumors of a program where one person could recieve and early discharge from the military when faced with this situation...is that true? does anyone have any suggestions for what we can do, to avoid being deployed and still not even together?

We have explored the option of being stationed as one in iraq and unfortunatly it is not anoptionfor us because i am national guard and he is active duty and i could not complete the necessary training in time to deploy with him and his unit

[Deadbroke]

Sadly it's not true we have soldiers in my unit in the same situation one spouse is deployed in the other is at home are they both are deployed but not together!. There are 2 thing's you can try

1.Try to go active and pcs to his unit
2.Serve your term in get out

Married couples in the same you get to live together if the space is available,good luck!!!!!

[ChaplainC]

I have not, personally, heard of people going to the same FOB as their spouse. I know of couples in the same S.F. squadron, even on the same flight, and they sent them to different FOBs. They had kids, and they were both gone the exact same dates, just to different areas. They just had to leave their kids with family. Good luck to you, and I hope I am wrong, I hope someone can tell you how to make it happen for you.

[The Universal Curmudgeon_guest]

Hello, my name is Tina.Hello Tina

Knowing this when we got married, i decided to live at home and allow us to save money while he is deployed. I reported to my unit in august for the first time (even though i had been home from AIT for 8 months) and i was told i too will be deploying in january to iraq. I have explored many options, however i hav decided i would rather be out of the military all together then try to raise a family around deployments.Now I'm just guessing here, but you joined the New Jersey National Guard what, one year ago?

Didn't your Recruiter mention that there was a war on and that the US military was sending National Guard units to Iraq and Afghanistan?

Did you, somehow, manage to miss the infrequent mentions of the fact that there was a war on where they were buried back on Page 50 (or so) of your local newspaper?

Now you mentioned "raising a family".

Does that mean that you and your husband of two and a half months already have children? Or does that mean that you are pregnant?

If you already have children, then you are going to be required to provide a child care plan wherein someone else has custody of them whilst you are deployed. Of course, you don't actually have to do this - you can accept the alternative which is likely to be a discharge under the "Other than Honourable" category.

If you don't already have children, but are pregnant, let your CO know immediately. I suspect that the US military isn't so hard up that they are sending pregnant women into a combat zone.

If you don't already have children, and you aren't pregnant, then you are probably going to find that the government of the United States of America has this totally unrealistic expectation that you actually do what you signed a contract to do.

[ringjamesa]

My two cents....Have you explored the possibility of transferring to tha HI ARNG? The NJ ARNG probably won't release you until after your deployment but are you seriously planning on commuting from HI to NJ to complete your UTAs and IDTs? You do know that the UTAs will be at your expense. I would get a Conditional Release fron the NJ ARNG ASAP (has to go all the way to the state AG's office) and transfer to HI. If you were planning on getting married prior to enlisting, you should have joined the Reserve so you wouldn't have that problem-you could have just done an inter-unit transfer instead of having to get a release every time you want to move states. Second question, why has it taken you so long to report to your unit? If you had done what you were supposed to do, you could have already resolved this situation. Now it looks like you will have to deploy and then apply to transfer. As to an early discharge, you might want to check out the thread about the Army recalling IRR troops. If the Army is recalling individuals that have already completed the AD or Sel Res portion of their contract, what in the world makes you think that they will let you out of your obligation?

[bebop1088]

In reply to majority of these responses....I have actally been in the nj arng for 3 years, I joined just weeks after turning 17. I did not join and intend to get married. Thank you for stating the obvious but yes, i got it there is a war going on...but what you dont know is i joined with 2 years non deployable- what they didnt tell me was it started the day I signed not the day I finished training like I was origionally told. I do not have children, nor am i pregnant however we had intended on starting a ramily reletivley soon.
I basically say that the sarcasm is unnecessary...I am simply here asking if someone knows something i do not. I did not ask to be ridiculed, especially by someone who probably doesnt have itin them to get off thier ass and serve.
Now to reply to serious posters....Yes i have very strongly considered transfering tothe HI national guard. However im not sure how drill would work with me being in nj and all. Also I am not so sure my nj unit would release me, unless once again there is something i do not know about. I am going to Hawaii to see my husband this week and I am going to talk to units out there to see if they are willing to work with me on drill, like possible doing something over the internet or if I could simply make up my drill days. Ihave high hopes but i have never heard of anything working out like this before.

[dorque]

You should have expected deployments when you joined and knew as a military couple you would face these challenges. However, I think it is wonderful that you get to be deployed at the same time. This way, you will only be away from each other for less time. What if you were getting deployed right when he was coming back? Good luck with everything. I know its tough.