Great Sea Stories!

[tmurphy]

I was on an FFG (Frigate) and we had a bunch of VIP's onboard during RIM-PAC. We were going to fire our CIWS for a demonstration. Everyone is standing on the bridge wing staring at the aft of the ship where the CIWS is mounted. The CIWS turns to port and fires! To make a long story short; we shot through the huge whip antenna that someone forgot to lower down causing 50K worth of damage. Can you say, "CASREP"?

[PAMICH]

I hope it wasn't the Direct TV satellite antenna. You'll find many bonehead moves like that as you go on through your Navy career. My Sea Story is, while assigned to the TR (CVN-71) the signalmen were hoisting the flags for flight OPS. One of them became unmoored and tangled around the SPN-43 radar antenna. This is a rotary antenna used primarily for marshalling the Aircrafts at a set distance getting the planes ready for approach. The antenna was dead as a depth charge. CASREP yes but we couldn't change it until we docked back in NNB.

[tmurphy]

I hope it wasn't the Direct TV satellite antenna. You'll find many bonehead moves like that as you go on through your Navy career. My Sea Story is, while assigned to the TR (CVN-71) the signalmen were hoisting the flags for flight OPS. One of them became unmoored and tangled around the SPN-43 radar antenna. This is a rotary antenna used primarily for marshalling the Aircrafts at a set distance getting the planes ready for approach. The antenna was dead as a depth charge. CASREP yes but we couldn't change it until we docked back in NNB.
LOL-ya that is a good one! On the same ship I mentioned above we also had a mishap with the 49 radar. We were pier side for the month of December and won the best decorated ship on the water front award. We had a blow up Santa Claus with rain-deer on the bow, christmas tree on the quarterdeck, lights that outlined the ships silhouette; you can imagine the setup.
Needless to say, the guys in OPS had some PMS checks to do on the radar that required them to rotate it. The one thing that everyone forgot before they signed the working aloft chit was the up and over lights that ran from the bow to the mast, back down to the aft of the ship near the flight deck. The lights sagged down just enough to get caught up in the radar! As the radar started to rotate, the cable from the up and over lights wrapped around the radar like fishing line going onto an open faced fishing reel. Christmas leave for OPS department was cancelled and everyone on leave in that department was recalled for a safety stand down.

[MPLisa]

I was an HM2 on the Kansas City in the early 1980's. We hit a bad storm in the Gulf of Alaska. So bad that we used up all of our motion-sickness meds, and starting injecting people with compazine and other stuff that had "anti-emetic" (anti-vomiting) properties. We all were praying that the skipper (Capt R.E.Brown) knew what he was doing. I violated the rule and undogged a WTD on the fantail that day, looked out horizontally into greenwater. I looked up and saw the top of a wave about 50 feet up. I quickly dogged down the door and hustled back to sickbay. The whole ship was knocked about so bad that we had a long, 1" wide crack running for many feet down the main deck.

Keep in mind we usually had a 40' draft, but having done lots of UNREPS, were fairly empty I guess. We bobbed like a cork.

[Voyager57]

I had an experience similar to mplisa in the mid 90's. I was serving onboard Juneau as an HMCS and we were on a short cruise between CA and Hawaii but it was straight into a raging pineapple express. IRC over half the crew was seasick including the weathered old bosun, which impressed me greatly since I thought he had been born at sea.

During the course of the morning I ventured out onto the main deck forward and up one ladder to the Chief's smoking area to burn a quick one. The area was about 35 yards from the bow of ship and pretty well exposed to the elements. A buddy and I were standing there when all of a sudden the bow went high then dipped way down and a sheer wall of water was flying straight at us. Both of us only had time to crouch and turn our backs to the wash knowing we were gonna be soaked. As we crouched though, a gust of gale force wind blew the wall of water sideways and we stayed dry...all happened in about 3 seconds. Needless to say we decided to stay in the rest of the day 'til the seas calmed a bit.

[YomanDenver]

Oooh, do I have a good one.

While on the Gary (FFG-51), we had just pulled into Singapore and were moored for a couple hours before the Vandegrift pulled in. The plan was to dock right next to each other, normally this isn't a problem since the fenders are big enough to support that. However, in Singapore, they weren't. Long story short, the SLQ-32 radar on both ships got damaged when the Vandegrift continued to drift to her port side (our Starboard). I remember standing on the foc'sle looking up at the XO trying to push the ship away with his hand and the OOD (I believe) at the time yelling up telling him that he couldn't stop it with his hands.

I guess you had to be there.

[PAMICH]

YD That is funny. XO didn't do well in Physics class I see. Just think, he probably is in command of a warship now.

[YomanDenver]

YD That is funny. XO didn't do well in Physics class I see. Just think, he probably is in command of a warship now.

Well thankfully, I'm not on THAT ship. I know for a fact he wasn't the CO of the Port Royal. :D

[MPLisa]

Another Kansas City (AOR-3) story: I used to grab a big syringe filled with water, and a large bore needle, stick it through the pop-rivet holes in the NWT bulkhead separating one of the berthing compartments from the port-side P-way across from sickbay. Looking through and eye-level rivet hole, I'd stick the needle in another hole and shoot water at the guys watching TV in the compartment. I'd bite my lip 'til it bled laughing at those guys looking up at the pipes thinking there was a leak. I did that several times and they never cought on. Still makes me laugh to this day.

I loved that old ship - sadly, she's rusting up in the Carquinez Straits mothball fleet now in CA. :-(

[MPLisa]

One last one - a "sea" story when I was with the Marines, 3d Medical Battalion on Okinawa, prior to my KC time.

We had long, one-story squad-bay type barracks in the battalion, up on Camp Hansen. I used to routinely pull pranks on the corpsmen and Marines in that barracks. I would uses cigarette fuses to light up bottle rockets that I set up strategically to fire on down the length of the center of the squad bay. I would create all sorts of havoc and, keep us laughing enough to break the monotony of our tours.

In retrospect, that was another awesome duty station and tour.

[YomanDenver]

Another Kansas City (AOR-3) story: I used to grab a big syringe filled with water, and a large bore needle, stick it through the pop-rivet holes in the NWT bulkhead separating one of the berthing compartments from the port-side P-way across from sickbay. Looking through and eye-level rivet hole, I'd stick the needle in another hole and shoot water at the guys watching TV in the compartment. I'd bite my lip 'til it bled laughing at those guys looking up at the pipes thinking there was a leak. I did that several times and they never cought on. Still makes me laugh to this day.

Now, that right there...is gut-busting funny.

[MPLisa]

OK, one more:
Back in Okinawa again, Battalion HQ, I was a legal clerk for a while. My admin chief at the time (he later got a commission) was HMC Mark Bland. Well, we would pull local liberty out the main gate of the base, in the town of Kin, or "Kinville" as we called it. (a.k.a. Sinville). I am a huge fan of pickled eggs, and beer. The only problem with pickled eggs and beer is that the combo is so damned good, that it is hard to stop. One particularly gluttonous liberty night, I had my fill of fresh sashimi, pickled eggs, and Orion beer (the local Okinawan brew).

Well about 1000 the next day, my gut is gurgling and the gas-pressure is starting to pop the old safety valve, if you know what I mean. I started to let fly and the fumes wafted through the open office area. Chief Bland, not having the greatest sense of humor, got mad and kicked me out of the office - essentially giving me a day of liberty, until I got rid of all of the odiferous emminations caused by the previous night's fun. To this day I've never smelled anything as bad as the foul hydrogen-sulfide laced noxiousness of that hot day on Okinawa.

[Yggdrasil]

Here's one for you:

HT3 is in the head at the sink. DC3 gets out of the shower. HT3 notices that DC3 has a perfectly bald ass, with long bushy hair going down it's crack. HT3 freaks out and asks "WTF"? DC3 tells HT3 that he puts nair on his ass, and admits that neglects his crack.

DC2 walks in on the conversation. Pays HT3 $100 dollars to rub Nair on DC3's crack, and DC3 $50 to let HT3 do it.

[MPLisa]

No way............................

[YomanDenver]

Here's one for you:

HT3 is in the head at the sink. DC3 gets out of the shower. HT3 notices that DC3 has a perfectly bald ass, with long bushy hair going down it's crack. HT3 freaks out and asks "WTF"? DC3 tells HT3 that he puts nair on his ass, and admits that neglects his crack.

DC2 walks in on the conversation. Pays HT3 $100 dollars to rub Nair on DC3's crack, and DC3 $50 to let HT3 do it.

Yeah, I believe that one. Once you know a few DC's and HT's, you don't even question it...you know it happened in that instance.

[MPLisa]

OK, I might just believe it based on the following story that was passed down to me by the guys in my Division on NIMITZ back in 1991. The story goes that there was an HT on the flattop that had, shall we say, a bowel movement of tremendous length and girth. Now, those of us that eat the occasional big steak dinner are no strangers to above average sized intestinal sculpture. However, this HT evidently was so proud of his "work", that he promptly reached into the toilet, pulled out his prize, and proceeded to take it to show his buddies. The only problem here was that the HT walked his "baby" through the aft mess decks, and that action got him written up and trip to Captain's Mast for contaminating the mess decks.

So, the moral of the story, I guess it really is possible that HTs (and DCs), have a closer relationship to things of a scatological nature, as second nature, than the rest of us (even us former Corpsmen!)

[Battleshort]

On an old Adams class DDG, rough weather meant HUGE fun. I used to snake a smoked clam up my nose (leaving the little black tip out), go down to the mess decks and sit next to the greenest wog in the place. I would then procede to slowly pull out the clam and chow down on it.

The spray through the fingers was like a sprinkler head.:D

[YomanDenver]

I always enjoyed going down to the mess decks during heavy seas and just listening to the pots and pans falling and sliding all over the place. You would normally catch a seasick CS holding onto their trash bag for dear life.

[FBURTXUSN]

In 1974 I was serving aboard the USS Richmond K. Turner DLG-20 (later re-designated as CG-20) of the Leahy Class. At the time, in addition to my duties as a Data Systems Technician (DS1), I was also assigned to the ship's Guard Force, which I later ran. Any of you who are Cruiser/Destroyer sailors are, I'm sure, familiar with the job. For those who aren't, ships of this size are not large enough to merit having a Marine Detachment for shipboard "Special Weapons Security" (meaning Nuclear). Of course nowadays this sort of duty is much more common even onboard the bigger ships in view of the enhanced need for "Force Protection" post USS Cole and 9/11. Weapons and "Battle Rattle" gear have been considerably enhanced as well.

However, in those days our primary duty was to respond to any "Security Alert" situations, which more often than not consisted of the setting off of missile house access door alarms. Every access door to weapons spaces was outfitted with a sensor switch that automatically set off an alarm whenever the door was breached. Anyone that has served on ships with these installed knows that these switches were usually quite sensitive and could be set off by simply banging on the door with your fist. And there were always those jerks that would do that just to break the monotony. That got nipped in the bud pretty quick, though, after a few Captain's masts and Special Courts Martial.

Unfortunately, there was not much to prevent the same thing happening during rough seas, which had a tendency to set the damned things off almost constantly. This remained a problem to some degree despite extensive readjustment of the switches. Eventually they did get it down to a point that it was manageable.

However, whenever it did happen all members of the Guard Force were required to go to Security Alert which meant we had to muster at the Small Arms Locker to be issued .45 pistols with a tag attached and a magazine of ammunition. On the tag was printed a location for the individual to secure until the end of the Security Alert. This included all the access doors to the Missile Houses as well as the ASROC Launcher on the Focs'l. There were other topside locations as well.

This was the standard set up until that particular day in 1974 when we experienced an especially rough day with really heavy seas. We met a very big wave head-on which broke over the bow and shook the ship from stem to stern setting off at least half the perimeter security switches with it. Well bells started ringing and the 1MC blared from the bridge, "SECURITY ALERT! SECURITY ALERT! All personnel not involved stand fast! Duty Guard Force lay to the Small Arms Locker!"

Well, I dropped what I was doing and beat feet for the Small Arms Locker where I was issued a pistol labeled "ASROC Launcher & Focs'l". When I got up there the wind was blowing pretty damned hard and the deck was covered with quite a bit of water. Looking out over the lifelines there were huge waves topped with white caps and troughs running perpendicular to the ship coming up to meet us in huge rolling formations. And, of course, the bow was moving in a constant up and down motion, sometimes pointed up to the sky and then down into the valley of the next trough.

I made a quick circuit of the Focs'l to make sure it was clear and then positioned myself over on the leeward side of the ASROC Launcher where the wind wasn't quite so strong and just kind of planted my feet on the non-skid. This was on the Port side just aft of the launcher. As this was going on I was blissfully unaware of the fact that the Captain and the entire Bridge Watch were up there watching me do my thing. I hadn't been there more than a minute when I looked up just as the bow took a sudden dip down into an especially deep trough with a very large wave behind it that was just starting to break over. The first thing that flashed through my mind was "Surf's up!" The next thought that followed was "Oh s**t!" as the bull nose buried itself into the face of the wave causing a huge wall of green water to came straight for me!

The only thing that saved me from being thrown over the side into seas that were probably unsurvivable was the fact that the brunt of the wave hit the ASROC Launcher before it got to me, breaking its force. So instead of finding myself treading water and hoping the screws wouldn't suck me in, I was standing there drenched to the bone with sea water gushing out of the receiver of my .45 pistol. This was one time that being a fat guy paid off since my mass helped offset the force of that dissipated wave.

However, there was still a cloud of spray concealing the fact that I was still there, and the entire Bridge Watch and the Skipper were frantically trying to find out if I had been washed overboard. As the mist cleared I heard my name being called from up above. And no, I didn't think it was Saint Peter, because the voice sounded an awful lot like the Weapons Officer. Sure enough, when I looked up in the direction of the port bridge wing, there he was. He yelled down, "Burt, secure from your station, turn in your weapon and report to the Captain on the Bridge on the double!" I responded, "Aye, aye, sir!" and thought "Oh s**t!" for the second time in less than a minute.

I made my way aft to the locker, handed a thoroughly soaked weapon and magazine to the duty Gunner's Mate and proceeded to the Bridge. As soon as I stepped onto the Bridge the Captain rushed over and, before I could say anything to the affect of reporting as ordered, he started pumping my hand and asking me if I was all right. I thoroughly believe he was a hell of a lot more scared than I was. In fact, my main reaction was that I was worried about the puddle that was forming on the deck around me. I mean, I knew it was sea water, but I didn't want anyone to think it was something else.

It turned out I wasn't in any trouble. On the contrary, I got a lot of brownie points that paid off later. The Captain was more concerned about almost losing a man overboard. In fact, I was not the only person topside that day. I just happened be the most visible and got a little more soaked than the rest. The ultimate result was that procedures for Security Alerts while underway were changed to eliminate people being sent topside, especially during heavy seas.

[LONGARM45]

On aka-96 the USS MATTHEWS in 1967, we were picked to do two burials at sea for retired navy people. Their families (about) 20, came on board and watched the coffins slide off the planks from the main deck (30 ft above the water). The captain had given the word, "STOP ENGINES" but the screw kept freewheeling and chopped up the coffins pretty badly.:eek: :eek: We hustled the families back into the wardroom, sent one of our lcvp's to pick up the battered remains, quickly "repackage" them, rechain them, and re-inter them, while we headeed slowly back to port! The Engineering officer had to explain to the captain:mad: (again) that we were not a destroyer and could not go from forward to reverse in less then about 10 minutes!!!

[tmurphy]

On aka-96 the USS MATTHEWS in 1967, we were picked to do two burials at sea for retired navy people. Their families (about) 20, came on board and watched the coffins slide off the planks from the main deck (30 ft above the water). The captain had given the word, "STOP ENGINES" but the screw kept freewheeling and chopped up the coffins pretty badly.:eek: :eek: We hustled the families back into the wardroom, sent one of our lcvp's to pick up the battered remains, quickly "repackage" them, rechain them, and re-inter them, while we headeed slowly back to port! The Engineering officer had to explain to the captain:mad: (again) that we were not a destroyer and could not go from forward to reverse in less then about 10 minutes!!!
That is terrible! I saw something similar to that but not so extreme, well maybe just as crazy. TRUE STORY, we were doing a burial at sea from the flight deck of an FFG. Everyone is dressed up in full dress whites with large medals. Instead of having the family members onboard, our ship recorded the event on video and sent it to the families. Anyways, we didn’t have coffins; the people we were burring at sea were cremated. We go through the whole cemormy and at the end the ashes are suppose to be released into the ocean. You would think the entire urn is tossed into the ocean but noooooo. Our Supply officer was assigned with pouring the ashes over the side. So he bends over and reaches as far out as possible to get the ashes over the side when a gust of wind blows the ashes all over him in his dress whites and all over the flight deck. Needless to say no other officer volunteered for burial at sea duty ever again. Who needs that eval bullet that bad?

[YomanDenver]

On aka-96 the USS MATTHEWS in 1967, we were picked to do two burials at sea for retired navy people. Their families (about) 20, came on board and watched the coffins slide off the planks from the main deck (30 ft above the water). The captain had given the word, "STOP ENGINES" but the screw kept freewheeling and chopped up the coffins pretty badly.:eek: :eek: We hustled the families back into the wardroom, sent one of our lcvp's to pick up the battered remains, quickly "repackage" them, rechain them, and re-inter them, while we headeed slowly back to port! The Engineering officer had to explain to the captain:mad: (again) that we were not a destroyer and could not go from forward to reverse in less then about 10 minutes!!!

That's just crazy, but I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall when the conversation between the CHENG and the CO was taking place.


That is terrible! I saw something similar to that but not so extreme, well maybe just as crazy. TRUE STORY, we were doing a burial at sea from the flight deck of an FFG. Everyone is dressed up in full dress whites with large medals. Instead of having the family members onboard, our ship recorded the event on video and sent it to the families. Anyways, we didn’t have coffins; the people we were burring at sea were cremated. We go through the whole cemormy and at the end the ashes are suppose to be released into the ocean. You would think the entire urn is tossed into the ocean but noooooo. Our Supply officer was assigned with pouring the ashes over the side. So he bends over and reaches as far out as possible to get the ashes over the side when a gust of wind blows the ashes all over him in his dress whites and all over the flight deck. Needless to say no other officer volunteered for burial at sea duty ever again. Who needs that eval bullet that bad?

I knew the end of the story before you even got there. Luckily, we never had to do any burials at sea, we held memorial services, but nothing more.

[tmurphy]

I guess the ending is a give away.:)

[ElectricElvis]

:cool: We have a decorated barrel for that now. It doesn't let the wind catch the ashes until they are below the deck level. Bet some unlucky officer thought it up. And only the chaplains dump the ashes; now I know why!
I'm also pretty sure we turn into the wind so the ashes go on the water, instead of into the ship. Bliech; I have enough dirt in my pway from living people.