The tragic story of 1st Sgt. Jeff McKinney

[CommunityEditor]

In a home movie, 1st Sgt. Jeff McKinney sings softly to his new son while his wife, Chrissi, gives the baby a bath. McKinney teases tiny Jeremy about this, his first nude video.

Someday, McKinney says, the family will show off the footage to Jeremy’s first girlfriend.

“Cause that’s how our parents did us,” McKinney sing-songs. “You’ll be 15, 16 years old, and you have your first date ... .”

It won’t ever play out that way, though. The McKinneys made the movie during his two weeks of home leave halfway through what was supposed to be a 15-month Iraq war deployment. He spent the break bonding with his new son and talking to his 18-year-old son, James, about going to college.

But everything changed July 11 in the bright sunshine of Adhamiyah, Iraq. That day, while out on a simple meet-and-greet patrol, McKinney stepped out of his Humvee and yelled.

“F--- this!”

He raised the barrel of his M4 to his chin and squeezed off one shot.

The first sergeant — who sang Sesame Street songs to his men and teased them just enough to make them feel like family — left his soldiers shattered.

At first, they scrambled to find the sniper who they believed must have fired the shot. When they realized the truth, they wondered how Top could have deserted them.

“That’s not First Sergeant McKinney,” his driver, Spc. Anthony Seashore, who witnessed his death, later told investigators. “Never.”

His family also felt blindsided. McKinney had no history of mental health issues. But as his parents and wife accumulated documentation from the investigation into McKinney’s death, the case became clearer.

The leadership demands of an Army at war, the untold emotional and physical injuries of combat and the unrealistic stoicism of a dedicated soldier all collided in tragedy.

McKinney had been on the scene after a 500-pound bomb left five of his soldiers and an Iraqi interpreter dead; he was in a vehicle when another bomb blew up just two feet away, almost killing him and his men; he had consoled a soldier who lost a leg to a roadside bomb.

And he had stopped eating, stopped sleeping and become convinced he was not doing enough to keep his soldiers safe.

But even after a soldier found him sitting in a wooden supply shack, staring emptily into space, even after his face grew gaunt from weight loss, even after he was unable to form the thoughts necessary to give a morning briefing, McKinney kept going out on patrol.

And that is the part that everyone — soldiers, commanders and family — must now struggle with, each and every day.

‘Jeff would never do that’
As of May 3, 139 soldiers, 25 Marines and seven sailors have killed themselves in the Iraq and Afghanistan war zones, according to Pentagon data.

Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, more suffer from depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, traumatic brain injury and other problems. But getting combat vets to seek help is difficult.

Studies by the Army, the Defense Department, Rand Corp. and others cite the same reasons why troops with mental health issues don’t seek help: fear of being seen as “weak,” inadequate access to care, concern that asking for help can hurt a career, and guilt about letting battle buddies go out on patrol without them.

Among the troubling factors is that, like McKinney, many of those who choose suicide aren’t young first-tour junior troops. Forty-seven percent of soldiers who have killed themselves in theater are older than 30. And half were in paygrades E-5 or above. Experts are concerned that it’s harder to spot signs of potential suicide in such war-hardened veterans.

McKinney’s family believes that if his chain of command had paid closer attention to the symptoms, his death might have been avoided. And they hope that by talking about it now, months after his death, they might help prevent other suicides.

“It will not be in vain if it helps just one soldier to get the help they need,” said McKinney’s mother, Kay Watson. “And I want everyone to know what a good man he was.”

Chrissi McKinney had a second reason: If her husband had been in his right mind, he never would have hurt his men like that.

“The most important thing to know is Jeff was not himself,” she said. “Jeff would never do that.”

McKinney came to Bravo Company, 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, at the request of a friend. He first met 1st Sgt. Kevin Floyd at Fort Polk, La., where, Floyd said, there was nothing to do but fish and hang out with friends.

This was a guy, Floyd recalled, “who had his act together.” They spent all their time together and enjoyed competing as platoon sergeants within the same battalion — but always helped each other out. Floyd said McKinney liked to play, but he also wanted everything just so.

For example, McKinney had thousands of KinderEggs — chocolate eggs filled with toys that are popular with soldiers in Germany — but they were perfectly spaced and dusted.

Within the new battalion, McKinney quickly earned a reputation for knowing his job. He played the drill sergeant, ragging a soldier until he got it right. But he inevitably earned their respect along the way, according to several of his men.

“He definitely liked to joke with the soldiers — to try to make it feel like they were family,” Floyd said. “As a senior leader, that’s pretty unusual. In Alpha Company, he’d know who was married, who had kids. He had 140 people and he knew all the names and faces.”

Troubling changes
McKinney proved himself long before his arrival in Schweinfurt, Germany, home of the 1-26. He worked his way through all the tabs: Airborne, Air Assault, Ranger. He tried for Special Forces, but a torn knee ligament kept him from finishing and he couldn’t try again because he had passed the maximum age limit during the course.

When Charles McKinney and his wife, Rhonda, talk about him, they never stop smiling, as if even the misery of his death can’t overcome the happiness of the memories. Pictures of him and his family fill their Texas home.

“It feels good to talk about him,” his father said. “He could be so gentle. And patient — like Job.”

Watson said her son “had an inward pride that you don’t see in a lot of people. He wanted everyone to shine, not just him.”

By the time McKinney served with the 1-26 in Samarra, Iraq, in 2004, he had an unbreakable bond of trust with his soldiers.

“Those were his kids,” Watson said. “He looked out for them.”

But after Samarra, he was different. He refused to talk to his wife about what he experienced.

“I’m sure I don’t know 20 percent of what he saw,” she said.

Charles McKinney said his son once told him he went out with a squad, and they took automatic fire from inside a school. The soldiers responded in kind. The insurgents got away, but children died in the crossfire.

“The cries of the mothers stayed with him,” his father said. “He was still talking about it a year and a half later. He said, ‘After Samarra, I’ll never be the same again.’”

But when it was time to go back in the fall of 2006, McKinney and Floyd made plans to serve together as tactical operations center battle captains. They had been pulled from their companies just weeks before deployment for the new job.

And McKinney and his wife made plans to expand their family. They had met 10 years before, although Chrissi, a German, resisted falling for an American.

“I didn’t want to be with an American or a soldier, but then it just happened,” she said. “He made me laugh. He was really sweet and understanding.”

She said the need to keep him with her influenced their decision to have a child. “I said, ‘I just want to have something of you if something happens.’ Now I really have something from him.”

To read the full article, please go here ---> http://www.militarytimes.com/news/20...icide_060808w/


Lasting legacy (video): http://www.militarytimes.com/multime...inney_suicide2

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What to look for
According to the policy printed on cards handed to every soldier in Iraq from the U.S. Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine, warning signs for combat stress that require “quick assistance” include withdrawal, depression, inability to sleep, anxiety, memory loss and spaced-out appearance. The cards recommend unloading the soldier’s weapon, moving him to a safer place and getting him to eat, drink and sleep. But according to both the Department of Veterans Affairs and the military, there are also signs for service members to look out for in themselves.

Talk to your battle buddy, medic or squad leader if you are:

* Thinking about hurting or killing yourself.

* Looking for ways to kill yourself.

* Talking about death, dying or suicide.

* Engaging in self-destructive behavior such as drug abuse or treating weapons carelessly.


Other signs that you should talk to someone include feeling:

* Hopeless, like there’s no way out.

* Anxious, agitated, sleepless and moody.

* Like there is no reason to live.

* Rage or anger.

* Like giving away possessions.


What to do if a battle buddy is hurting:

* Ask open-ended questions such as, “How are things going?” Be honest and direct.

* Ask if he intends to hurt himself.

* Do not leave him alone.

* Take him to a treatment facility.

* Monitor him.


What not to do:

* Overreact.

* Minimize the problem.

* Create a stigma about getting help.

* Tell him to “suck it up” or “get over it.”

* Gossip about it.

YOU CAN NEVER RECOGNISE THE TIME TO SNAP, IT JUST HAPPENS AND THEN, YOUR GONE, i KNOW, i WAS THERE
SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS CAME HOME IN A BOX, I FEEL GUILTY, STILL TO THIS DAY THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES WHEN i WANT TO GO BACK TO VIET NAM AND DIE SO THAT I CAN BE WITH MY FRIENDS, THE GUYS WHO NEVER CAME HOME.
IT WASIN'T JUST THE GUYS WHO WERE KILLED IN COMBAT THAT CAME HOME IN A BOX, WE ALL DID AND ITS A BOX THOSE OF US WHO LIVED CAN'T GET OUT OF, EVER. . .
MAY GOD TAKE RECEIVE YOUR SOUL 1ST SGT.

I've got as good idea on a solution to all of this: DON'T JOING THE GODDAMN MILITARY!

It's not fair to question the actions of the CPT in charge. The 1SGT made a choice to end his life and might have done so even if he had stayed back that day. There is no real way to ever know what was going on inside his head. When someone dies we all look for a reason, and when someone takes their own life we look even harder for someone to blame. War is hell. There is no one to blame. RIP 1SGT McKinney.

Not fair to blame the CPT In charge..?? Spoken like another
officer ? in CHARGE being the key word... we know a CPT is a CPT because he has a degree..guess common sense does not come with that piece of paper. Not to mention that cards and information is now given to all soldiers about suicide..you would like to think that some on in CHARGE would not let a soldier who has been described as beng in a trance and even in the CPT's own words "sort of zoned out" to be out on patrol with a gun..Some one else could have been hurt or killed. No one ever said that McKinney talked of sucide. But the world will never know what would have happend if CPT. had followed written warnings about PTSD and TBI and kept McKinney in that day... You can't blame a soldier who is sufferering from PTSD or TBI , for they are bleeding on the inside and they do not even know it themselves. No, McKinney was not to blame. .....
Hopefully CPT will not get a chance to make the same mistake again. The big teaddy bear that he is..

Hello. I read your article about the 1st Sgt. that recently committed suicide. I wanted to tell you my story. My husband was in the 278th TN National Guard and he committed suicide on May 16, 2008. Here is my story:

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/vi..._troop_su.html

Sincerely,

Tracy Eiswert


Please, help me spread the word about veteran suicides! Send this link to everyone you know. P.S. The VA has denied all my appeals for a 100% rating................

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP STOP THIS MADDNESS.............

[kojack]

Where was the CSM? He is the one that is really in charge of the NCOs; he is the one that took the battalion colors and assumed "Command Responsibility"; he is the one that is now treated like a general. Where the hell was the damned CSM and why isnt he being held accountable?! Where was the NCO chain of support or command or whatever its' called these days!?

I pray that the chain of command is taking care of the 1SGs family and supporting them in every way.

CSM was their, gave him the 1SGT possition because he said he wanted it badly, then only had a month or so after he shot himself. The Dumb SOB. He begged for the possition himself.