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Potential red flags

If Pat Benatar is right and love really is a battlefield, put some of your warrior skills to use when considering partners-in-arms.

Like good reconnaissance into new territory, make a cool-headed assessment of your potential spouse, says relationship expert Dr. John Van Epp.

To know where to look, Van Epp suggests studying your partner’s FACES — his shorthand for family dynamics, attitude, compatibility, examples and skills.

When a red flag comes up, consider:

Family dynamics

Is there evidence of this issue in his or her family background? Is this something learned from family?

Attitudes

Is this consistent with how his or her conscience works? Has he or she expressed remorse and been motivated to address it?

Compatibility

Is this something that conflicts with your own morals, values and goals?

Examples

Is this how he or she treats friends, co-workers, or an ex? Even interacting with a waitress can be a clue.

Skills

How does he or she communicate or handle conflict and anger?

Just like you need skills to do your job well, these are the skills that can make or break a healthy relationship.

Related reading

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• 8 years of war take toll on military marriages