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Depression different for men, women

By the fall of 1995, Eric Weaver seemed to be at the top of his game. He had the physique of a competitive bodybuilder and the bragging rights that accompanied his job as a sergeant on the Rochester, N.Y., Police Department’s Emergency Task Force — what other departments call a SWAT team.

When he sat his wife, Valerie, down in their living room one day and said he was thinking of killing himself, Weaver made her promise that she wouldn’t tell anyone.

“I was a hero to some people,” Weaver said. “I couldn’t be depressed.”

The 44-year-old retired in 2005 after more than 20 years in law enforcement.

More than 6 million men are diagnosed with depression each year, about half as many as women. But the number of men who kill themselves each year is four times higher than women, according to the Mayo Clinic. Mental health professionals increasingly acknowledge that men are less likely than women to recognize their depression or admit to feelings that could alert others to their condition.

“The diagnosis is just not made as often in men,” said Dr. Yeates Conwell, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester Medical Center. “Men are less likely than women to endorse depressive feelings.”

“You learn to stuff your emotions down,” Weaver said. “That’s why there’s a stigma that keeps men from admitting to being depressed.”

Depression is characterized by prolonged sadness, lost interest in activities or work, hopelessness or low self-worth. People with depression cannot will themselves into a better mood. Untreated, the disease can reduce a person’s ability to function and can lead to self-destructive behavior and suicide.

Depressive states can happen once or can last a lifetime. They can be brought on by outside forces or be the result of physiological disorders. Depending on the severity of the depression, treatments can include meditation, psychotherapy, medication and electroconvulsive or electroshock therapy.

The National Institute for Mental Health recognizes that men and women experience depression differently and encourages health care professionals to consider that in their diagnoses.

After six hospitalizations, drug regimens of up to 20 pills a day and several rounds of electroconvulsive therapy, Weaver says he understands depression. He thinks his probably started in high school.

A self-described fat, short kid in high school, Weaver says he dealt with his self-esteem issues by lifting weights and competing in bodybuilding events. He joined the police force “because I knew it was a job where people would have to respect me,” he said.

For years, he was angry and aggressive. He would swing from yelling at his wife and children over trivial items to curling up in his closet and crying.

Weaver never tried to kill himself, but sometimes he would ask his wife to hide his service pistol.

At the height of his illness, Weaver says, thoughts of suicide were so common they became mundane. He would write his own funeral arrangements, make sure his life insurance policy covered suicide and once installed a new radio in the car he planned to bequeath to his daughter.

“I was depressed, but I just chalked it up to life,” he said. “It wasn’t until I talked about my suicidal thoughts with my wife that I came to terms with it.”

During his treatment, Weaver kept the truth of his illness secret to all but a few commanders in the department. He told his friends an old back injury was acting up.

Years later, he went public with his illness and became a spokesman for the issue of police-related depression, appearing in national publications and talking at police events.

In his final years on the force, he helped develop and commanded the Emotionally Disturbed Persons Response Team, a team of officers who are trained to recognize and address signs of mental illness and emotional distress among the people they encounter on patrol.

“It was the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my career,” he said.

Weaver also credits his improved mental health to his newfound faith; he now is an associate pastor at a church in Canandaigua, N.Y.

He travels to other churches and organizations and offers a presentation on mental illness. Ë

The Mayo Clinic lists these symptoms of depression in men:

• Anger and frustration.

• Violent behavior.

• Losing weight without trying.

• Taking risks, such as reckless driving and extramarital sex.

• Loss of concentration.

• Isolation from family and friends.

• Avoiding pleasurable activities.

• Fatigue.

• Loss of interest in work, hobbies and sex.

• Alcohol or substance abuse.

• Misuse of prescription medication.

• Thoughts of suicide.

Resources

Your doctor is a good place to start if you suspect you have depression. Other resources include:

• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: This national, patient-directed group offers support, as well as information about depression. Call (800) 826-3632 or go to http://www.dbsalliance.org.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness: The nation’s largest grass-roots organization for people with mental illness and their families. Call (800) 950-6264 or go to http://www.nami.org.

• Recovery Inc.: This national group offers support for people with mood disorders. Call (585) 234-2434 or go to http://www.recovery-inc.com.

• National Mental Health Consumers’ Self-Help Clearinghouse: This group provides support for those in search of self-help and advocacy resources. Call (800) 553-4539 or go to http://www.mhselfhelp.org.