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Kevlar for the Mind: Think abuse doesn’t happen? Think again

In my Nov. 9 column, “NCOs must realize when discipline becomes abuse,” I discussed the fine line enlisted leaders can walk with those they are responsible for training and mentoring. The takeaway was that leaders must provide discipline and corrective training based on clear goals, not for their own personal enjoyment and need to feel powerful.

If anyone doubts that this kind of abuse is common in the enlisted ranks, they should heed the story of an unnamed senior leader in the Army. He writes:

“My son is a lower-enlisted soldier, and he calls me almost daily with tales of harassment and abuse. It burns me to no end that this still goes on, considering what the men and women of the military have been going through these last eight years.

“I have been serving almost 24 years; I have experienced such abuse, and even dealt a little of it out when I was a young [noncommissioned officer]. Today, I rely on my NCOs to do the right thing, and most of the time they have the younger soldier’s best interest at heart. Now, I find myself wondering what has happened to NCOs that many of them feel the need to humiliate and berate instead of mentor and teach.

“My son’s unit has had soldiers go [absent without leave] in the past several months because they couldn’t handle the pressure. My son is also starting to feel the pressure. My son entered the Army with the intention of making a career out of it, but now he can’t wait to leave. You would think that the Army would deal with this kind of abuse more harshly, but it seems there is an unwritten rule that if you tell anyone, you will suffer even more punishment.

“How can my son find refuge from this abuse?”

It angers and saddens me to hear a story like this. But there are things a junior member can do.

First, if there is someone high in the chain of command whom he trusts, the junior member should speak with that person. If the harassment and abuse are coming from someone already high in the chain, keep in mind that person also has a boss who can be approached for help.

If this doesn’t work, or if the junior member doesn’t feel comfortable taking this approach, he can contact the Office of the Inspector General and file a formal complaint.

The harassment and abuse may not end after only one complaint. It’s important to be steadfast.

This service member’s son — and everyone who wears the uniform — deserves the respect, training and leadership they signed up for when they joined the military.

No one should let a few bad NCOs ruin what could be a rewarding military career.

Bret A. Moore is a board-certified clinical psychologist who served two tours in Iraq. E-mail kevlarforthemind@militarytimes.com. Names and identifying details will be kept confidential. This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to convey specific psychological or medical guidance. Readers should see a mental health professional or physician for mental health problems.