For advice on guiding military children into developing strong character and becoming responsible adults, let's turn to some people who've had a fair amount of success in that pursuit: the parents of this year's Operation Homefront's Military Child of the Year award recipients.

* "I never said, 'You're the man of the house.' I didn't want to put extra pressure on him. I also didn't want him to think he has to do it my way," said Coast Guard Maritime Enforcement Specialist 1st Class Ward Parsons, father of Caleb, 18, the Coast Guard honoree. Caleb, an Eagle Scout, voluntarily took primary responsibility for the homefront late last year and early this year for his three younger siblings while his mom, Air Force Reserve Staff Sgt. Story Parsons, is deployed to Qatar, and his dad was deployed with the Coast Guard.

Caleb and his dad both cited faith as their family foundation. "You have to have a firm rock to stand on, or you'll get knocked about by the waves," Caleb said at the gala where he and the other children were recognized. "Without my parents' and grandparents' faith, we wouldn't be standing here today."

* "Encourage their dreams, be a good listener, and know when to get out of the way," said retired Air Force Col. Jennifer Hesterman, mother of Sarah, the Air Force honoree. Sarah has had some push-back in starting a club at her high school in Doha, Qatar, aimed at promoting the rights of women and girls. Even so, her mother stepped back and let Sarah handle it. Despite the pushback Sarah was going through, "I stepped back, "which is hard as a parent," Hesterman said. "But it's a life skill she's learned."

"It's about letting go ... with a little bit of guidance,"said Air Force Lt. Gen. John W. Hesterman, commander, U.S. Air Forces Central Command. "We told her to be anything she wanted to be, and do anything she wanted to do. ... We told her to be kind. … She really has a big heart, like her mother." Sarah said her parents didn't center their lives on her, but rather included her in their lives — a subtle but important distinction. "They let me watch them, and how they lead," she said. "They're both amazing leaders ... people I want to emulate."

* National Guard Military Child of the Year Zachary Parsons said his parents have always pushed him. "And dad led by example, and by hard work. My dad always taught me what's right, and what's wrong," he said. While his dad has been deployed, Zachary, 16, has helped his mother shoulder the responsibilities of their family cattle farm, while managing to keep up his 3.85 grade point average.

"If he's busy doing something, he's not getting into trouble," said Army Sgt. 1st Class Jason Parsons of his son. But Parsons added that Zachary is reaching a point where he's so busy with activities and volunteering that he'll have to make choices about his priorities.

* Michelle McIntyre-Brewer, mother of 13-year-old Cavan, the Army honoree, advises parents to get their children involved in helping others. "Every time you think you have it bad, reach out to help other people," she said.

Cavan said his parents' encouragement to help others at a young age is something he has taken to heart. "Even if you don't want to at first, in the end, you'll like it," he said.

* Chris Rodriguez, the Marine Corps honoree, saw an example of a strong mother who was able to pull her children from an abusive situation early in their lives. Because of the help she received from women's and homeless shelters, she tries to give back to those organizations, said Griscelda Smith.

"I don't want them to be abused by anyone, and I want them to stand on their own two feet," Smith said.

Chris also said his stepfather, Gunnery Sgt. Jermain Allen Smith, has been at his side along with his mom pushing him to do his best. "He was a great influence. He helped us strive for better grades."

* Cynthia Kliewer, mother of 17-year-old Emily, the Navy honoree, said she was very "hands-on and diligent" with her children when they were little. "My husband [Kyle, a retired Navy lieutenant commander] was gone a lot, and we moved so much that they missed a lot in school."

Emily will be valedictorian of her high school graduating class. Besides Emily, who will be valedictorian of her graduating class, is swimming and diving team captain, and an avid volunteer, the Kliewers have two other daughters. Kaitlyn is working on her doctorate in civil engineering at Princeton, and Nicole will graduate magna cum laude from Florida State University.

"I say God gave me good kids. I don't think we did anything special," Kliewer said. "They are just good kids."

Karen has covered military families, quality of life and consumer issues for Military Times for more than 30 years, and is co-author of a chapter on media coverage of military families in the book "A Battle Plan for Supporting Military Families." She previously worked for newspapers in Guam, Norfolk, Jacksonville, Fla., and Athens, Ga.

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