You've been blitzed by hateful speech and treatment on social media, or you've seen another person or group vilified in that way.

What should you do?

The consensus: Don't respond.

"You tend to respond in anger, and that escalates the situation," National Crime Prevention Council spokeswoman Michelle Boykins said.

The informational website stopbullying.gov carries much the same message.

One Army wife who was attacked after posting a comment said she consciously avoided pushing back.

"It seems if you push back, they push back tenfold," she said. "It's very disheartening how they target spouses. They find your profile, find your location, and find husbands and target them.

"I'm really cautious about what I say online now. We have to worry about threats from our own community."

Air Force wife Tiffany Bodge contends that spouses should not just refuse to respond to such material, but refuse to even read it, because even that contributes to the problem.

"We have to call it what it is — it's hate. It's verbal assault," she said.

NCPC's message to turn away from the invective extends only so far. Boykins advises that if messages and posts become threatening to the point of conveying intent to harm, print them out and contact law enforcement.

In some states, such behavior could constitute harassment or other offenses that may allow you to take legal action, she said.

You may be able to hide or remove some messages, but if you're targeted on sites not your own, you can contact a site's Internet service provider or administrator. Each site has locations for reporting cyberbullying, and administrators are taking it seriously, she said.

For example, Twitter recently announced policy changes aimed at discouraging abuse while protecting free speech, and increased staff to respond to complaints.

If abuse comes in a discussion you're moderating, or through your Facebook page, "if you have the option to delete the comment, do it," Angie Drake, an Air Force spouse, said.

You can also review a website's terms of service to see whether the actions violate policy. Social media safety centers have information on how to block users and change settings to control who contacts you.

Air Force wife Tiffany Bodge is concerned that "dependa" is becoming part of the everyday language of military spouses — which she finds ironic, since she sees most spouses as quite independent.

They're "dependent" only in the legal DoD terminology related to their being married to a military member, she said.

Bodge contends that spouses should not just refuse to respond to such material, but refuse to even read it, because even that contributes to the problem.

"We have to call it what it is — it's hate. It's verbal assault," she said.

Stopbullying.gov says you should report cyberbullying to law enforcement if it involves:

1. Threats of violence.

2. Sexually explicit messages or photos.

3. Photos or video taken of someone in a place where the individual normally would expect privacy.

4. Stalking and hate crimes.

"There should be a way for military spouses who feel the harassment has taken on a dangerous tone to be able to report it," Drake suggested, adding that defense officials should specify the reporting mechanism, especially since this behavior often goes on outside the chain of command.

At the same time, Drake said there are occasions when "it's empowering to be outspoken."

"Ignoring it hasn't exactly made these groups go away," she said. "Maybe you can just defend a friend online. That can make all the difference in the world."

Karen has covered military families, quality of life and consumer issues for Military Times for more than 30 years, and is co-author of a chapter on media coverage of military families in the book "A Battle Plan for Supporting Military Families." She previously worked for newspapers in Guam, Norfolk, Jacksonville, Fla., and Athens, Ga.

Share:
In Other News
Load More