The psyche is a mysterious and complicated piece of the human puzzle. As a psychologist, I've always been intrigued by what prompts and propels our thoughts, feelings and, more importantly, our actions. One specific area of human behavior I find most interesting is what causes us to embellish or "misremember" facts about our lives.

As humans, we have an uncanny ability to make ordinary aspects of our lives seem extraordinary. Two recent examples that garnered national attention are television news anchor Brian Williams and VA Secretary Bob McDonald.

Williams, a prominent and respected journalist, told repeatedly of his brush with death when the helicopter in which he was flying at the start of the Iraq War was downed by an enemy rocket. However, once his recollection of the event was challenged by reliable sources and proved to be inaccurate, his backpedaling from his comments was swift and rivaled any NFL All-Pro cornerback.

McDonald, a former West Point and Army Ranger school grad, divulged to a homeless veteran who reportedly had served in a special operations unit that he, too, had donned the Special Forces tab. But, like Williams, McDonald took a bit of liberty with the truth. Indeed, he had never served in a special operations unit.

The examples of Williams and McDonald are not perfect comparisons, but they are not apples and oranges either (more like tangerines and oranges). They share an important similarity: For whatever reason, they intentionally misled others about the reality of their experiences.

The actions by Williams and McDonald are by no means unique to them. We all enhance, reshape, exaggerate, or outright lie about our life experiences from time to time. Why do we do this? The reasons vary. For some, it may be a matter of positioning one's self for a promotion at work or landing a date with an attractive individual in a bar.

But for most, it's a misguided attempt at fitting in and connecting with others.

We are social animals. Our happiness, welfare and existence depend on connectedness. And we believe that the more we align our experiences with others, the more they will like us and accept us into their circle. When that happens, the happier and safer we feel.

The outrage over the truth-bending by Williams and McDonald is understandable. Anything that detracts, minimizes or robs our men and women in uniform of the honors they have earned through their sacrifice and bravery is unacceptable. My point is simply this: When we mess up, it's generally not a result of some sinister intent, but rather a poor choice that is firmly grounded in needs held by each and every one of us.

Bret A. Moore, Psy.D., is a board-certified clinical psychologist who served two tours in Iraq. Email him at kevlarforthemind@militarytimes.com. This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to convey specific psychological or medical guidance.

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