The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said: "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."

That centuries-old maxim remains a prime principle of modern-day psychology: No matter what life throws at you, you're always in control of how you think about the situation — which, in turn, influences how you subsequently feel and act.

Unfortunately, humans are prone to errors, especially when it comes to thinking. Cognitive distortions are irrational, self-defeating thoughts that exist outside your conscious awareness.

These distortions are automatic and happen constantly — and if left unchecked, they can cause a host of problems ranging from lack of confidence to severe anxiety and fear. But if you can recognize these thoughts, you can improve your situation.

Some of the more common forms that such thoughts may take:

  • Catastrophizers. Often seen as dramatic and fearful, people prone to catastrophic thinking always believe the worst will happen in any situation. Example: A sailor who fumbles during her mock boards is convinced she’ll never get promoted and will be forced out of the military.
  • Overgeneralizers. These folks view an isolated incident or piece of information as evidence of a never-ending pattern: If something bad happens, then surely it will happen again. Example: A soldier who believes that because a woman turned him down for a date last weekend, he will surely be rejected if he tries to ask out another woman this weekend.
  • Black and White Thinkers. There are no shades of gray for these types, who are often seen as rigid and stubborn. It’s yes or no, left or right, or up or down — things are a total success or a total failure. Example: A Marine who categorizes people as either good or bad based on initial interactions and fails to appreciate that all people have positive and negative traits.
  • Shoulds and Musts. People who tend toward "should" and "must" statements have a narrow, rigid view of the world. They have high expectations for themselves and others and are not the most forgiving types. Example: An airman might be constantly frustrated at seeming to always find himself in impossible situations from which he simply can’t back away.

Thoughts are powerful, and they definitely influence how you feel and behave. But they don't have to control you. Gaining awareness of the different types of cognitive distortions and errors you may make can greatly improve your emotional and social well-being.

My book "Taking Control of Anxiety: Getting the Best of Worry, Stress, and Fear" has more information about cognitive distortions and how to get rid of them.

Bret A. Moore, Psy.D., is a board-certified clinical psychologist who served two tours in Iraq. Email him at kevlarforthemind@militarytimes.com. This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to convey specific psychological or medical guidance.

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