The Pakistani Taliban has debuted a new uniform that combines decades of punk rock, splashes of Gwen Stefani — and a dash of dominatrix.
Flawlessly blending a combination of camo pants, black shirts, fingerless leather gloves and a total disregard for parental authority, the Tehrik-e Taliban Pakistan (TTP) strutted their stuff in a new training video featuring rocket-propelled grenades, white board instruction and standing around in mid-”La Macarena” poses.
There’s no official word yet on the meaning behind “No Tension,” but if it’s a band name as we assume, it sounds rad.
By tucking camo pants into knee-high white socks, TTP fighters now have greater aerodynamic maneuverability when firing RPGs, as well as the added flexibility required to break into an impromptu mosh-kick whenever No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” blares from the speakers of a gun-mounted Toyota pickup.
Add in the fingerless leather gloves and high-top sneakers, and you’re guaranteed a seamless transition whenever going from firing a Kalashnikov to hopping on a skateboard and dropping into an empty pool.
“Sick ollie, brah!”
No Tension’s shirts don’t feature any sex pistols. And they may appear distorted ... socially. But there’s no clash between the ideologies of these misfit offspring. Black flags and bad religion — that’s what No Tension does.
J.D. Simkins is a writer and editor for Military Times, and a USMC veteran.