Tuco Salamanca of “Breaking Bad” fame was once so exuberant after sampling Walter White’s renowned “blue sky” crystal methamphetamine that he proclaimed the drug “kicks like a mule with its balls wrapped in duct tape!"
An airman assigned to Utah’s Hill Air Force Base experienced a similar kick last Saturday when he allegedly consumed meth and heroin in Las Vegas, leading him to believe he had transformed into a video game character before leading police on a high-speed chase through Wickenburg, Arizona.
As Tuco so eloquently opined, “Tight! Tight! Tight!”
Brandon Tyner, 21, was driving his Chevrolet Camaro through Wickenburg the night of Sept. 22 when he was clocked doing 65 mph as he passed a fully marked police SUV in a 25 mph zone, News 4 Tuscon reported.
Wickenburg Police Officer Justin Lemon flipped on his lights and took off after Tyner, who reportedly Marty McFly’d the Camaro to 88 mph while weaving in and out of traffic in an effort to lose his pursuer.
The meth-fueled airman managed to momentarily elude the officer, the report said, but Lemon quickly spotted him once again as Tyner turned his vehicle into the circular driveway of a business lot.
Lemon positioned his vehicle to block the airman’s escape before exiting the SUV and shouting instructions with his firearm drawn.
But Tyner didn’t slow down, the report said.
As he sped toward the exposed policeman, Lemon reportedly lunged into the driver side of his police SUV a split-second before Tyner plowed into the open door, forcefully shutting it just as the officer evaded the collision.
Lemon was reportedly uninjured, but was unable to continue pursuit of Tyner, who got back on the road.
Shortly after leaving the business driveway, the dazed and confused airman reportedly abandoned his car at the entrance of a gated community before running off into the night.
“There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind."
Police arrived and searched the area but saw no sign of Tyner, the report said.
After about an hour into the search, police received a phone call from the fugitive airman on a phone belonging to Tyner’s girlfriend, who had arrived at the scene.
Tyner reportedly surrendered without further incident and was taken into custody.
During questioning, Tyner told police he believed he had consumed “crystal” meth and "H" (heroin) in Vegas. He also explained that he was “in a video game” and had visited the entrance to the gated community a month earlier in a dream, the report said.
Police found tin foil with heroin residue in the console of Tyner’s vehicle.
The airman’s jaunt around town, reminiscent of a chaotic scene from Rockstar Games' Grand Theft Auto, resulted in a laundry list of charges.
Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, aggravated assault of an officer, unlawful flight from law enforcement, reckless driving, endangerment, criminal damage, drug possession and use, and possession and use of drug paraphernalia have all been levied against the 21-year-old.
The incident remains under investigation.
J.D. Simkins is a writer and editor for Military Times, and a USMC veteran.