Weed, ganja, flower, Mary Jane. The devil’s lettuce is known by numerous monikers, almost as many as the scores of aficionados who enjoy its restorative benefits.
On Wednesday, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo acknowledged the plant’s sanative advantages by signing legislation legalizing marijuana’s recreational use among the state’s adult population.
Cannabis fans rejoiced, ushering forth a celebratory cloud over the Big Apple by way of Js, pens, chillums, dab rigs, bubblers and the ones they call Kim Bong Ill, Dank Sinatra and J.R.R. Token.
Not if you’re Marine veteran and media personality Greg Kelly, who how-do-you-do-fellow-kids’d his way through a tweet that cast marijuana as something much more sinister than any apathetic, wan D.A.R.E. employee could convey during elementary school presentations of yore.
“SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS) is NOT a good idea,” Kelly tweeted. “I’ve tried it (back in the day) and it was WORSE than anything that happened to HUNTER BIDEN. I ‘toked up’ with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya. With no idea what happened. DON’T DO DRUGS.”
Phenylcyclohexyl piperidine is another drug, and by the sounds of Greg’s 96-hour bender, the Kentucky chronic may have been bathed in it. Heaven forbid Kelly, who once ranted about a fictitious “McFish” sandwich, which earned the Marine veteran a “Male Karen” designation by a McDonald’s employee, try something harder and simply evanesce entirely.
To be fair, however, Kenya does have a few of the same letters as Kentucky. Perhaps it was simply a marijuana-induced wrong turn ... but for four days straight.
If only Kelly had been provided the standard safe cannabis consumption area replete with medical staff and security specifically trained to prevent East African pilgrimages...
That’s how the rest of us enjoy “SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS),” right? Oh yeah, everyone else just eats pizza and passes out.