Special occasions for loved ones are known to test the creative boundaries of even the savviest romantics.

Spend enough Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, or Valentine’s Days together and the flame of passion that once burned as bright as the eye of Sauron may fizzle to a solitary ember mired a damp abyss of infinite “meh.”

Valentine’s Day 2020 might be in the rear-view mirror, but the next red-letter day remains ever lurking just around the corner. Fortunately for all, one adult website has launched an initiative to spice up relationships with the gift that keeps on giving: Porn.

Introducing “Camo Cards,” a video greeting service brought to you by porn web connoisseurs CamSoda that allows users to book personalized greetings — filmed by porn stars — to be delivered to your loved ones deployed overseas.

Choose from a list of American patriots that includes adult film stars like Brandi Love, Lisa Ann and Sara Jay, each of whom are setting time aside from their busy schedules to support deployed service members — and completely free of charge.

CamSoda’s offer allows users to personalize messages, select the model’s clothing — or lack thereof — and even detail the “desired level of naughtiness,” the porn website’s release said.

“With the current unexpected deployment of our troops, we know that stress level of military personnel and their loved ones is at an all-time high,” CamSoda Vice President Daryn Parker said in the release.

“Leveraging our CamSoda network, we are offering users the chance to send a free greeting from some of the most beautiful and sexy cam models on the planet, starting this Valentine’s Day. It’s the perfect way to tell your significant other how you feel (and want to make them feel) – or to cheer up a single friend who could use some extra love.”

Upon receiving the request, CamSoda says they will first verify the recipient’s IP address belongs to a deployed service member. The ball gets rolling from there.

And while the service launched in time for Valentine’s Day, it is available for any occasion, year round.

Ditch the elementary school cards and generic care packages and send your special guy or gal a gift that will last — for about three to five minutes. Then marvel as nerve signals from your loved one’s brain send extra blood flow to the tip of their heart.

(Signing up on a personal computer vs. a work computer is recommended.)

Observation Post is the Military Times one-stop shop for all things off-duty. Stories may reflect author observations.

Jon Simkins is a writer and editor for Military Times, and a USMC veteran.

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