Every once in a while, I stumble on a video that makes me feel so awkward watching that it reminds me of that time my parents used the steamy car scene in James Cameron’s epic “Titanic” as a lead in to “the talk.” And while that is an overshare, it’s little compared to the cringe-factor I felt when I came across an Army video warning soldiers against “extreme conditioning.”
Produced by Staff Sgt. Frank Brown, Spc. Leon Cook, Staff Sgt. Christopher Klutts and Staff Sgt. Dayan Neely, this video features a soldier styled after WWE’s late Ultimate Warrior (may he rest in peace). Ultimately, however, our parody hero just kind of sounds like a B-list Christian Bale Batman.
At one point, he looks dead in the camera and says, “You best believe you’re gonna do every last rep until you puke, and then, for a cool-down, you’re gonna lick it up.”
And if that wasn’t scarring enough, he then talks about how extreme conditioning will allow you to “take fodder to the face” ... which is what anyone who watches this video is doing.
Happy viewing. And remember, if you do work out so hard that you lose your lunch, please, for the love of God, don’t eat it.